Saturday, October 31, 2009

Reverence :)

A singular thought transfixed.
While at that moment it is the truth.
Why every breath mixed
In love and warmth its root?

Fervour in a fit of passion
Or is it a desire for oneness.
Humble, quiet compassion
In life and act and fairness

Revered is that holy sight,
I did see from my cradle.
And in that ever guiding light,
I did build my mettle.

Upon that warm hand
That rested on my shoulder.
Upon that sacred band
That bound us together.

A singular thought of selflessness
Transfixed within my mind.
While, as I approach that stillness
With you I shall bind.

P.S : Comments invited :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Right as Rain

On rainy days, everybody lives.

And even if you’re in the foreign-est and loneliest of places, you won’t feel it so much on a rainy day. Because such days are pretty much the same no matter where you go. Or maybe because, such days tend to make you kind of stupid and contemplative anyway, in that if you’re at home on a rainy day then you want to be somewhere else, out in the rain, with nothing to stop you from getting wet. But if you’re out there in the rain with nothing stopping you from getting wet, all you want is to be home and dry.

In any case, what I want to say is pretty trivial, and I shall keep it that way - Rainy day memories are mostly eternal and universal. It’s probably been this way forever, but it was only just now that I noticed how I unconsciously equate a wet day with carefully chosen recollections only. I mean, even if there’ve been thousands of rainy days I’ve lived through, I can still count off my fingers the ones I carry around most clearly in my head.

Here are my top recollections. For all I know, they may change tomorrow. But as on 22nd September (Tom Felton's b'day...Bless him), 2 days after I turn 18 (Yippee!!) rainy days remind me of these:

1) A lot of ‘96 and ‘97 rainy days, I have spent on my grandparents’ bed in Amalapuram and Warangal. Hardly napping. Instead, it was on some of such days that I read my first comic, discovered the legendary “Coffee bite” chocolate, listened to their stories, learned that my grandma’s purse was a treasure trove of Vicks Tablets and got used to her snores. This ranks among one of my top rainy day memories – not the stuff I did, nor my grandparents. Just the general ambiance of their room.

2) The classroom with the tub of multi coloured umbrellas in the corner, and the umbrella shopping trips. This was during the years ‘98 – ‘99. In general, nothing beats the awesome-ness of Mumbaiya rains. Also, how I hated coming back in those packed jhunds after school ended, just due to the thought of walking by so close to those dirty, muddy and wet boys of my class.

3) The swarm of earthworms that came out of their holes after every rain in Mumbai (’96, mostly). And how the crazy boy on top of our house went around sprinkling salt on them (he probably didn’t realize he was killing them by doing that), to decide which of them would go to heaven and which of them to hell*. He was also the first boy ever to have been slapped by me :P

4) “The Photograph” – my most favourite Ruskin Bond short story ever!

5) Monkeys, music, coffee and Parul– Indore‘08 :)

6) Endless talks about envying a friend who still gets a chance to enjoy those heavenly downpours in Mumbai even after not living there for around 3 years - August‘09 :P

A pretty lame list, I probably agree. Still, this is how it is with me right now. Someday, I shall possibly be reminded of the day I spent in the forgotten land of Mashobra exchanging life stories with Sherpas, or doing photography in the Amazon forest, or discovering Hogwarts in some architectural ruin . Till then, I live with these. And wait for other memories which I already have with me, but have not yet sunk in, to replace them.

And listen to other people’s own recollections, and trick myself into believing that the most fascinating of those actually happened with me

And learn fully how to work on Linux :-/

* The Heaven-Hell theory is best not disclosed here. The last thing I want is to make this post disgusting [:P]


Friday, July 31, 2009

Valentine's Day Proposal from a five year old

Ever since I am in love with you,
You’re in my mind more than Barbie.
While I play with my dolls,
In them, it’s your face I see.

When I play ghar ghar,
I want you to be my husband,
When I pretend to be Barbie,
I want you to be Ken...

I love you more than my last chocolate,
I love you more than ice cream
Swinging with you in my jhula,
Is my only dream...

So, will you come and
Share your last chocolate with me...
I will wait for you till dark,
Coz after that, Mom says home I have to be...

PS: Valentine’s day always talks about love between two grown I having no work wondered how would a kid talk about love...and posted this...hope u like it :)

Author's note :
It's been pretty long since I blogged. Been too busy doing nothing, I guess ;)
Anyways...These are the newest members of my collection of poems (dumb piece of shit, I know!) Thought of sharing it with you people :D

To All My Friends...

Sometimes it happens in life,
That the world feels dark and dreary,
When all the paths feel lonely,
When everything goes cold and scary...

When uncertainty fills your heart,
When you feel really low,
Just think of me my dear friend
I will be there for you!

Bring a little smile on your face,
Because worrying is of no use
It is ok if the fight is gone,
The war my friend we won’t lose.

We will achieve success in life,
We will fly really high
We will touch such heights
We will leave behind the sky!

There is no other way life can go,
Our success dear friends is inevitable,
We shall conquer the world one day
For we truly are capable!

Let us give it all my friends,
And achieve our goals in life,
Let us always be happy,
No matter what the strife!

Authors Note:

Dedicated to all my worried friends

Monday, April 20, 2009

Thank you for everything!

Answer one question to yourself truthfully. How many of you, at this moment feel that everything is right with your life? Do you feel that life has been fair to you? Do you think that God has been kind to you? Do you feel that you are very lucky?

I guarantee you that if hundred people read this blog (hypothetically), then only five or six would answer yes to the above questions. We all feel that at some level, we deserved to have achieved more than what we have but couldn’t because of too much stress, too much work, thankless bosses, bad office, friends who don’t understand us, parents who expect too much etc etc. Despite of our innumerable talents we haven’t been provided enough. In Murphy, we all trust. Something or the other goes wrong with our life.

We all are human and it is only human to feel all this. Most of us never have even considered that what we have is more than enough to achieve our dreams if we care to believe and do it. Most of us have never made full use of our opportunities.

Well, next time you feel that life has been unfair why don’t you look at that innocent beggar child. What has he or she done except tug at your sleeve Why does he get that look of disgust from you? Or does he get a look from you at all? Or what has that child who sells you something done except disturb you from that all important newspaper article you were reading? Stupid kid, can’t even understand that your paper is running away. I am not saying you give them money, because he/she will probably blow it on drugs. He may be fully under the spell of drugs without knowing how harmful it is! Compare yourself to the kid and then say you are unlucky. You have been lucky to have parents, to have an education so that now you can read this and wonder!

Yup, I was lucky as a kid, but adulthood sucks! Is that what you are thinking? There is an acute lack of opportunity now, your boss sucks, your life sucks.

I had read a book about German concentration camps or the Holocaust five years ago. That book had such a profound impact on me, I still shudder when I think about it. Ordinary men, women and children were subjected to such horrendous atrocities, only because they were Jewish. We cannot even think of understanding what it must have been like to be separated from your whole family, knowing that you may never see them again, that they will be brutally tortured, maybe even be burnt alive. People were herded up like cattle and brutally beaten up. They were given only one flimsy garment to wear in that biting cold. Some of their insides were burnt up with harsh acids in the name of medical experiments. Can you imagine what it must have been like to be so used to starving, that the moment you have one square meal, you die of overeating. What it is like to be a small child of seven and not know what the taste sweet is like?

After I read that book I thanked God for all I have. I have everything. I have a loving family and friends and all the opportunities in the whole world. I know I have lost some loved ones, due to lack of time or distance or death but they all have had fulfilling lives and I cherish whatever memories I have with them. May all of them be happy, wherever they are.

We all complain too much. We give flimsy excuses like too much work, too much sorrow, I am too good for this etc etc. Have we ever thought that if there are Holocaust survivors who live to tell their tale, we can move mountains with what we have?

Authors Note:
Yup, this is still me writing and there is nothing wrong with me. My exams are up and I have noticed that my whole team and college tends to complain at a time like this. So, I got thinking and I wrote this. Oh, and please comment. And sorry if I was too preachy. Old habits die hard ;)

Things I love :)

It's exam time. My next exam is due another week because of elections. So, I am here. I am glad to tell you people that for a change I did well in all the exams till now. I hope to get good marks and will be thoroughly dissapointed if I don't fare well. Oh yeah!! The regular piece of shit, I know!!

It's been ages since I posted! Well, I feel nobody cares. I am not that creative. But still...When I jot down something, it's not that bad. It's worth a second look. If there are any silent admirers of my work there, I dedicate this to them. Have you seen Julie Andrews' "The Sound of Music"? There is a song in this musical...."These are the few of my favorite things". This piece is inspired from that song. I wish to add another line to the list. I love it when someone leaves a review. I've always supported healthy criticism. I don't mind being ridiculed if I've gone wrong somewhere. Now that was very rude. Yet again "my inner Bellatrix" (Thanx Sophie ;-)) wanted to come to surface and I gave her this chance. I know you people are silent admirers. I don't mind. I'm not forcing anyone to leave comments. I "know" you people read and follow this blog.

The smile of a child,
Flowers that grow wild,
A moonlit starry night,
The first ray of light,
The smell of the first rain,
The friends I gain,
A favourite song after a long time,
The melody of a wind chime,
Junk food in my favourite shop,
Seeing kids play, skip and hop,
Winning some silly contest,
Seeing the smile on Mom’s face,
Bugging someone all night,
Playing pranks all the while,
Sleeping in class and not getting caught,
When people like the gift I brought,
Laughing like all the joys are mine,
Talking till I lose track of time,
Being told that I love you,
Knowing that sorrows are few
Holding your hand and sitting just quiet,
Seeing a really beautiful sight,
Hearing that there is a holiday,
Knowing that things will go your way
Happy memories that make me smile,
All the people who are worthwhile
Someone did say it right,
Best things in life don’t cost a pie!

So....How was it? Like it? Hate it? No problem....Just tell me!! I would love it. You would indeed make my day :)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Birthday Surprises!!

Here arrives a delayed post about “America Appalamma”. It’s her birthday…And this is her present!!

Appalamma is 23 now…A girl who has transformed into a beautiful , confident woman, who brings a huge smile on your face, brightens up your day, lightens your heart!!
Now you people might be wondering why did I call this woman “America Appalamma”. That’s how she is universally referred to as. Boy! Does she look like a girl born and brought up in the U.S of A?? I don’t think so…This salwar-kameez clad babe is way too Indian. Shows how rich her culture is. A traditional telugu pilla.

Pranava Akka (as I call her) is one of the most unassumingly witty and deceptively intelligent people I have ever come across. Fun, spontaneous and highly emotional, the girl loves to do everything. Sing, dance, sprint up the success ladder, party hard, and know what? She is awesome at almost everything she does! It’s her wonderful, almost wild way to meet life head-on that makes her such a captivating person!

Quite nonchalant about everything that doesn’t immediately concern her,You either love her, or you be friends with her...but u simply cant hate her! The only negative aspect I can think about her is the fact that the girl puts emotions before logic, almost always! But she is your friend for life, and babe, I am extremely lucky to have you around! And oh before i forget ...she is drop dead gorgeous!...luv ya

“PRANAVA” its really difficult to describe my relationship with my sis because I believe its so rare and unique... She really is a rare find. A gift to me from the Lord. Temperamental yet stable, my sis always has her feet on the ground..even with all her achievement she never gloats about anything. Humility is her best quality...Her bubbly charm can liven up your day.. The last few months have been the best since I get to chat with her regularly. We never lost that "sisy" touch...and I promise you..We never will...

Marriage has always been a hot topic of discussion in our “girly-sisy” chit-chats. Akka is a lucky girl. She is all set to marry the man of her dreams. I am so happy for her. I know they’ll make an awesome couple. May God bless them with wonderful lives!!

Akka is a lady who uses her head and heart judiciously and with fantastic amount of harmony by way of being extremely objective ,rational, analytical and logical and is also emotionally strong, reasonably sensitive and proportionately sentimental. She under no circumstances can be dislodged from this balance she has acquired through her conviction and steadfast resolve .Akka’s commitment to her career and vocation is commendable and exemplary where in she doesn't let setbacks and shortcomings of any nature affect her momentum and create insurmountable stumbling blocks, her determination and resilience ensures she overcomes all odds and emerges triumphant.

Akka is a patient listener, empathetic friend and sagacious companion, her advice and suggestions always prove to be efficacious and profound. Akka’s level of maturity is just splendid her insight into niceties of life and relationships has undertones of a seasoned counselor. Akka is bluntness personified calls a spade a spade.

Happy Birthday, Akka!! Love you!!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

The funnier part of life!!

Achievement through discipline is one of your keynotes in this lifetime. To fulfill your soul purpose you will need much patience, tenacity, endurance, and most likely a long period of apprenticeship or labor. You are equipped by nature to withstand the periods of self-denial, austerity, grueling study, repetitive practice, or "doing without" that your path in life requires. Serious about your aims and, above all, a realist, you are willing to pay your dues in order to get where you want to go, and whether your goal is spiritual attainment, development of a talent, or material success, you want to go to the top. Some degree of rigorous training or hardship (inner or outer) is apt to be a prerequisite to your eventual achievement, Sindhu, and unlike apparently "luckier" souls, you have to work hard and pull your own weight early in life. Often, too, you have to wait, to delay gratification, and plan your strategies very carefully and shrewdly in order to gain your desired ends. Through this, you develop a certain toughness and firmness, emotional detachment, inner resourcefulness and self-determination, which keeps you going when the road gets a little rocky on the way to the pinnacle you are aiming for. One pitfall you need to beware of is your tendency to become hardened and cynical, secretly envious of those whose way is less orduous or whose outlook and attitude is more trusting and carefree (irresponsible and immature, to your way of thinking). You seem to be given more "tests", frustration, responsibilities, restrictions than others, and as a result, tend to view the world as an unfriendly place or life as a struggle. It is important for you not to become bitter because of this, or to try to take shortcuts, as these will almost certainly come back to haunt you later. The first half of your life, in particular, may seem heavy or hard, while the fruits of your steady efforts come to you later .

The essence of this lifetime is that you must prove yourself, Sindhu, and this you know at a deep level, and feel as a sort of inner pressure. (it can be next to impossible to get you to relax and enjoy yourself, to waste time or money or anything frivolous, or to gamble on anything you are not certain will yield real, tangible benefits). Because of your very strong (even if undefined) sense of purpose. Even your recreation is apt to be done in a calculated manner. You weigh the potential risks involved, and usually on the side of safety, for you have a very strong head to know where you are going and to be in control. Thus, the true experience of play tends to elude you, since it requires letting go of control, a certain indifference to results in preference for a free flowing openness to the moment. You do have a rather dry, ironic sense of humor, and it is important for you to keep that side of you alive as it gives you balance and a healthy perspective on things.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Too many thoughts all at once

In the blink of an eye, the truth seemed to dawn on me. The variegated nature of a life led so far in perfect harmony with the external world. I speak, ofcourse, about myself. But where do I start? Let me see now....let me start at the beginning.

I always thought that Indians have an uncontrollable urge to be in front. Figuratively and literally as well, if you might have observed while waiting at a traffic signal, every single driver endeavours to squeeze in the small space,just a few feet ahead, and in doing so, satisfies his/her urge to get ahead. Of what you may ask? The perfect beauty of it lies in the fact that he/she is inching forward for the sake of being in front of the person behind. Penny wise and pound foolish is all I can say.

My mind races. And I am faced by my mother who gives me my first lesson in getting ahead. "Make sure you sit in the first row in class. Otherwise, you will not be able to hear what the teacher says and she will not be able to see you."And sitting right in front was an honour that our teacher used to confer on the bright alecs of the class.

We also have an urge to defy. The way historians have glorified the concept of civil disobedience in our struggle for independence has had a profound impact on our society. It has become a norm rather than a last resort and the last time I defied anything, it felt really good. But that also brings me to the problem of concensus-building in a democracy where every individual has a mind of his own.It is a marvel that we manage to agree on anything at all! And to lead such a diverse group of people is in itself an achievement, one that I give due credit for, to the leaders of our country.

On the question of beliefs, I just realised how tied-down we are in our own superstitions. It is a paranoia that has been handed to us as a legacy. I blame it on our lack of education. How else can one explain the importance of one particular day of the week over the other? I am also amongst those people who believe Thursday is holy. Reason : I have complete faith in Sai Baba. And I believe it is His day. And what is it with these days anyway? I have seen people cut their nails ans shave their heads on Tuesdays and Fridays but they have never been jinxed, cursed, hexed .Ironically, I don't cut my nails on these days. I simply put the blame on my mother. Am I being honest? No. The fact is that I fear being jinxed, cursed, hexed. I do. Being educated, if I think so, how can I expect an uneducated person to come off it? I definitely can't. The dividing line between the literate and the educated is becoming clearer now. And why can't we defy this legacy of ours?

We also have an urge to revere. From making temples for film stars to honouring PhDs. with the highest office of our country, we do it all. From blind faith in the multitude of gurus to heinous massacre of hundreds on the basis of religion,we have seen it all. I have always wondered if I could make a Hindu angry by saying that I mistook him for a Muslim. I wonder if, even a small statement like, "you look so much like a muslim friend of mine" to a Hindu would offend him. Deep inside, it probably would because if we look closely, there is a look that many of us endeavour to maintain that identifies us with the flock. It is a basic instinct that makes us form communities. And whether it be the vermilion on our foreheads or the goatees or even modification in our bodies, all of it seeks to provide identity and allegience to a community. We are probably too afraid to be just as we are.

We also lack discipline. That is probably, without doubt, the greatest regret of this country. We can never follow lanes while driving. We can never keep our trains running on time. We always take the other person's time for granted. Now all in the city is spared from dogs and men alike.

But what we do not realise is that discipline is so strongly related to our freedom. Once we lose discipline, we lose a bit of freedom as well. Because we are not disciplined in our adherence to traffic rules, we lose the freedom of managing our time and angrily condemn the government for not making wider roads and enforcing traffic rules. Because we seek to make every erect wall in the city a urinal, we lose the freedom of taking a stroll in the city on foot without drinking in draughts of ammonia.

Finally, though our Prime Minister has said that we are the largest democracy and a responsible nuclear power we are also one of the slowest and most lethargic nations and all for our own idiosyncracies. Again, I must say, it is a marvel that we have reached thus far at all. Hats off to Hind!